So I’m sitting in the airport in Chicago. Stuck here for almost three hours and I hate to admit it, but I don’t mind. I like “waiting”. Its a great time to think and observe. You cant guilt about doing anything else. You’re just stuck, so what else can you do but think and observe.

Airports are great observation points for observing the Human Condition. It’s a target rich environment. You’ve got a constant flow of people walking by. I always try to find a good vantage point and watch the parade. It’s better than a fish tank.

What do you see? Well, if you’re not watching carefully, you just see people. If you’re a trained Ad Guy, you see souls. You see through the shells we walk around in. You see who we ARE.

I’m good at this. You have to be if you want to really understand what motivates people and you have to know what motivates people if you’re going to be an Ad Guy.

I can look at someone for a few seconds and understand them. What do I see? Watch how they carry themselves, how they’re dressed. What decisions did they make this morning. What expression is on their face. What are they carrying. It all ads up.

I’ve learned to look through all that, put the subtle hints together and KNOW that person from across the room.

I think I learned this from a couple good sources. First, the karate thing. I started studying Tae Kwon Do Karate when I was 12. Best thing that ever happened to me. I had good instructors that taught me a lot about what motivates us. I learned to read a person quickly and watch their eyes for their next move. When you are sparring, you have to make instant decisions and react before they know what THEIR next move would be. I was good at this. I could spot an incoming strike and counter it before it got to me. I won a lot of matches because of this.

The next lesson I had in the human condition was being a bouncer. I was the “doorman” at a very busy disco in Long Beach, CA during the heyday boom of disco in the early 80′s. I was the jerk at the front door with the velvet rope. I decided who got in and who didn’t. And I had to deal with people once they had a problem. The manager put me there because I had a second degree black belt and I owned a suit and I could have good manners. In reality, he put me there because he wanted to watch me beat people up. It wasn’t a really violent place, but once every week or two, there was some sort of problem and we’d have to drag someone out of the place. I was in maybe a dozen genuine brawls in my year and a half there. I was never hurt, except for a broken finger.

But what I learned at the door has been helpful the rest of my life. I would watch people as they walked up and I had to decide in seconds if they were getting in or not. I had to observe everything I could about them and make a snap decision.

You can watch how a person walks. How they carry themselves. I’ve taught my kids to walk into a situation like they OWN the place. If you’re good, people might believe it. Look at their posture. Look at their clothes. Most importantly, look at their face. Who we are is etched into our faces.

Think about it. Some people just look pleasant. Some people look like they are comfortable in their own skin. They look likeable. Most likely, they are. You can spot healthy people. You can spot miserable people. Just pay attention to every detail.

As I sit here in the airport, I observe a woman in her late 30′s. She’s well dressed. Prada purse. Matching suitcases. A lot of papers sticking out of a bag. She sits down a few seats away and starts making phone calls. I learn she’s divorced, two kids, both at the ex’s. Remarried. Sells medical equipment and flew to Chicago to meet with a doctor who didn’t show up. So expensive medical equipment. She’s got a sadness in her face. What conclusions can I make?

She’s worked hard to compete, to excell and to make money. She didn’t do well in her life though. Not 40 and already a broken family. From the number of calls she made, she’s desperate for attention but not really willing to open herself to people or be open to them. She’s a tight, little unhappy knot. It ain’t getting better.

So why is this important to an Ad Guy?

Well, if you’re in this business, you have to sell. You have to sell everything on earth to people you’ll never meet. How the hell do you do that? How do you sell something when you’re not there?

You have to have to have a great deal of empathy. You have to know how people FEEL. When you know how people feel, you can begin to see how they think and start to put yourself in their shoes.

This is a great skill for everyone to have, absolutely important for Ad Guys.

When you can put yourself in THEIR  shoes, you can start to see how they’ll react to your message.

So a lot of my work is in big ticket technology products. That’s what Austin is selling to the world. We don’t make cars or snack foods or toilet paper. We make technology. That means I have to know how technology buyers FEEL. What motivates them to spend a million dollars of their boss’s money on something.

When I do an ad, I have to know what pain he feels and address THAT.

Spouting off about how wonderful WE are does nothing. Who cares. My CIO doesn’t care. He’s a stress case. He’s got a problem to solve. What is he thinking? Chances are, he’s NOT thinking about your product. But maybe sometime in the next few months, he will.

THAT’S how you approach the guy. Get into his head first. What will make him feel good about doing business with you.

But if that doesn’t work… Try the other thing I learned at the disco.

Ask till they give up.

I would watch the human drama unfold every night in the disco. Guys coming looking for women. Women looking for guys who are looking for them. Everyone doing their best mating dance, looking for a little love, or whatever. But they were all there looking for something.

I’d watch them come in and I’d watch them leave. And it wasn’t always the best looking Alpha Males walking out with the women. Often, you’d be surprised to see which guys walked out with a new found friend.

It was the guys that persisted. If even a real dork were to ask every woman in the bar to dance, eventually one will dance with him. He’ll talk, he’ll maybe buy her a drink yadda, yadda, yadda.

It’s persistance and charm. The guys who know how to talk to someone, understand how they feel and not be afraid to talk to everyone till they made a connection were the one’s that made progress.

So what lessons have we learned here?

Observe. Feel. Rince. Repeat.

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